Chamber of Isolations

Because I haven't posted in a forever.  Just a small bit on the ecstacy of losing self.

The  air shimmers with anticipation and excitement. You can taste it on your tongue, sharp and electric. Your friend chatters quickly, grinning widely and shifting her weight restlessly. She cant stay still, and you're starting to feel the same way, an unbearable energy coiled tighter than a spring, static sparks burning behind your eyes. The lights go off, and an unnatural silence engulfs the room. The tension increases, the spring coiled so tightly you can barely breathe.

 

The lights blaze, the guitars shriek out the beginning chords and suddenly you are free, the energy ravaging and hungry. The bass throbs through you, through your blood and your thoughts. A powerful voice explodes into the air, the words he sings lines of fire, white-hot against your brain, and you yell them out with a savage joy. You move violently, crashing into other people, unable to help yourself. The drums throb, a collective heartbeat, and you are suddenly no longer yourself, but something wild and raw and bestial. You feel exultant as you mosh, screaming out the words along with the thousands of others, a drop of water in a raging storm.

 

 

:D I guess what with one thing and another this journal has kind of become friends-only. Or at least, I've started flocking my posts. XD

So if you want to read my half-coherent ramblings about my not-very-interesting life feel free to drop me a comment here saying you want to be friended. If I know you IRL or you're a cosplayer just say who you are/who you've cosplayed so I don't have to dig through your LJ and try to figure it out. 

'Cause I'm pretty damn lazy.

If you're bored out of your skull, you could head over to Broadwing, my writing journal where I post a few trifles. ;D 'cause this is my journal and I can pimp myself out.

If I don't know you and we have anything in common, drop me a line anyway and we can talk about cool stuff. 

So, how long has it been since I last posted here. A while, methinks.

I didn't end up doing Jano... but I'm still writing.

 I feel kinda bad.  I did literally nothing in the holidays. No writing. Nothing but Contact juggling (Panini if you're reading this please give my balls back, my fingers are itching to spin them.), playing video games and going out with friends. And reading.  Lots of reading.

Exam results? meh. I acheived with Merit, which wasn't too bad. Dad really laid it into me though, not good enough, need to study more, not good enough to go study in Heidelburg, etc, etc.  Overall acheived with 132 credits, out of a possible 136.

Maths: Mostly M's and A's, one E (probablity for the win)
English: E's and M's, and my one NA, cause I ditched unfamiliar texts.
Chinese: A in listening (was an absolute shocker I passed that) E in Reading, and M in writing.
German: E in listening, E in Reading and  M in writing. Can you tell that I'm obsessed with it?
Science: Mostly M's, one E, and Chemistry was an A, as always.
Physics: All A's and one M. Worst marks in a long time.  Good thing I dropped it.

Subjects this year?

German: As if there was any doubt.  Same teacher, same class, same old same old.  Except, NEW grammar. Oh joy.
Chinese: Smaller class, same people, same teacher, more characters. Going at an agonizingly slow pace,  I might get extra tution outside of school this year. 
Classics: Muh. I love eet. Currently we're doing Greek mythology.  Its like... being expected to learn about something thats awesome. Awesomely
Biology: I really like Bio. Mrs Ryburn, although a stickler for LOL NO CAT EARS EVAR is actually quite a nice and adept teacher.
English: Facinating as ever. I really enjoy it <3. War poetry is rather good.
Maths: My one awful course. Just keep getting smacked in the face with it, over and over and over again.   ihate graphing.

Hmm, what else to say? Oh yes. I have a daemon. His name is Kuu.  Say hello to him, for he is going to be around for a while.

New things? Cosplay picnic? Valantines day? Too late to write a full report now.

School... blah. 'tis fun I suppose. Have fun lunchtimes at least.  Everyones sick though. Hope you feels better. 

Cosplay?

Ritsuka (artbook) and Riku (KHII)

Pani rocks my socks. Thanks for helping me. 'preciate it.

Sneakers have been finishied. After much painting and cursing and glue and clamps and mulitating a cheap $4 pair of chunky heels. Aibou loves chewing on the tattered remains
Ritsuka boots being bought from coinsave when I has money.

Pants: making with Pani.
Vest: Pani again.
Jacket: Did I mention how your rock my socks?
Belt: Bought at H & M's in Germany. Thought I was so cool for only paying $30. Then I found out they were only $12 at Mr Thankyou.
Armwarmer: Scrap fabric. Blah.
Keyblade: Might skip it
Wig: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeebay.

Pants: Op Shop.
Top: Op shop.
Ears and Tail: Done
Wig: A possibility.
Sailor collar: Get Pattern of off Katie. Make.

Looking foward to Armageddon. I guess it should be fun.

~Rei
 

25k

Well, unfortunately I didn't win this year. But its okay~

I love my story, my characters, everything about it really. Plus I really, really want to see this one through to the end. 

So I'm signing up for JaNoWriMo again next year. Hopefully I can pull off a win there. Because then i will have written a 75k novel. And how awesome would that be?

I also have another list of what I want to do in the holidays. 


-Working on my drawing skills. (Mainly Roxas and Riku :3)
- Working on a draft for Flight of the Featherlings (original novel idea)
- Working on Echoes of the past. (Zelda Fanfic)
- Making up a few drabble lists and STICKING TO THEM. (Prompts)
- Janowrimo (self-explanatory)
- Working on Cassiel and Lyra story
- Finish up the weird second-person Zelda fic. 
- Edit Forest Echoes and post it up on Broadwing
- Contact juggling 
- Riku cosplay~
-Re-style Axel Wig
-work on contact juggling. 

 

*pokes all*

Life is very good right now.

I got MOON by Gackt. For $5.00. How lucky am I? The cover art is amazing. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Much better than just the cause you usually get.

Have utterly fallen in love with it.

I will never understand how just listening to Gackt can always make me so happy. <3.

So what's happened recently then?

A couple of weeks ago was Madj's birthday party. That was lots of fun. All we did was hang out at Midland park and have fun.  Was happy that she liked her present so much. The weather was georgeous.

And then there was the trick-or-treating. Everyone's costumes were ... woah. I especially liked Caddyl, Coco and Panini's outfits. Everything was great until we got egged. That was no fun at all. You people, we're going to shove you in the Death Note... dying of some sort of egg-related incident. Goyt a good stock of candy... but then my brother ate it all.

Congratulations to Caddyl and Panini. I'm very happy for you two <3

Couldn't go to karate today due to a black-belt grading, so I've been playing Okami and studying. God I hate those blockheads.

Oh yes, I now have Aristan, my pretty phone. If you'd like my number and don't already have it, then just ask and I'll email/txt it to you.

NaNoWriMo: 7k. I will make it up though.

Getting better at drawing Roxas I think.

Have applied for a job at Woolworths. Dear Gods, where has my sanity flown off to?

Exams in a couple weeks. Anxious, but not over-the-top-ly. I've been studying for a good while, so I'm positve I'll pass.

Physics: Just Mechanics to go over.

Science: Geology. Hurrah. And some Chemistry.

German:  Has been great since I came back.  Go over some sentence structures.

Chinese: Look over characters and listening comprehension.

Maths: Graphing, and maybe a little Trigonometry. Completely aced Probability, so not worried about that.

English: Go over themes, and unfamiliar texts.

 And now for the reflective bit, which you can skip if such things bore you. And a very weird rant on the love-lives of subjects.

I've realised that language is probably where I want to go with my life. Going to Germany opened my eyes to the fact that I simply love German, and I could never stop loving it even if I tried.  Same goes for Chinese. I know its not a fleeting love, like I've felt occasionally for a few other things, because I've adored them since the day I've started them. I've learned Chinese for three years now, and I can still get the same thrill when I learn a new character, a new word,  can read a passage, or realise that these strange sounds are beginning to make sense.  They're the subjects Iook foward to most every day, the ones that I study in favour of Physics or Maths.

I can liken subjects to love-interests. Maths is the kind of person who's always dependable, once you figure them out thats it. They're predictable, safe, perfect, but they're boring.
Science is an interesting person that you can love dispasionately, if that makes any sense. They're too obsessed with how everything works. They're not emotional.  They always like to watch people, catalouging their reactions to situations.
And then there's language. Language is fickle, passionate and fustrating. You can hate them for a while, but then madly fall in love all over again.  The relationship is always growing and always changing. You think you understand them, finally, but then they do something so weird and crazy that you're back to square one. They're like a guilty pleasure, once you've had the first taste you'll always come back, even if others distract your attention for a little.

Finished now~!

Ye Gods, that was odd.

Anyway, remember sweetlings~! Life is fun, smile and be happy.


~Rei

Edit: ZOMG, New KH games? Am I just out of the loop or is this really new news? Looks like Squeenix is pulling a FF7 here.

Okay *checks* 

Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days: One for the DS huh? Well for this I'm covered. This one looks interesting, a more in-depth look at Roxas. My inner fangirl is alternately screaming and fainting with delight and cursing that this will screw over many of my theories. Definately gonna pick up this one when it hits the stores.

 Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep: Okay, so this one doesn't have Sora and Riku in it? I'm really, really crushed. And its for the PSP? Okay then, by the time it comes out it looks as if I'll have to fork over for a new console. But I'm really, REALLY going to miss playing as Sora/Roxas/Riku. Hn... so it wsa BEFORE Sora took up the Keyblade? Well, that's okay I guess. Leaves room for another Sora adventure. 

Kingdom Hearts: Coded: Another mobile game? Hn, I really wouldn't mind. But knowing us, it probably won't come here. Looks like I'll have to get it a more round about way, if at all. 

My inner fangirl just might die of exitement. My more sensible side counsels just to watch, cause they might not be released for a while. 

w00t! I am back from Germany~! I'll do a full post later, as I'm still jetlagged.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! My four balls arrived so now I can do MULTIBALL! You don't know how nice it feels in my hands and how sweet they are. They're so tiiiiiiny! I've called them Oberon, Draco, Puck and Titania (a virtual cookie to anyone who guesses where I got the names from). And I got a big shiny METAL ball too, and it chimes when I play witnh it. Its now called Tereniel.

I have bought gifts and such but fandom itissogood to have you back~!

No-one on my trip was really into fandom and we didn't have much acess to computers.

I started to GLEE at Frankfurt airport because they had YOAI Manga in GERMAN

*GLEE GLEE GLEE*

I mean, this is the merging if two of the most AWESOME things on the planet. German... and Yaoi.

Edit: OMFG NANOWRIMO IS NEARLY UPON US! I MUST START PLANNING!

Well, Science was fine actually. Bio and Physics were fine, but I died on Chem. 

Maths: Oh man, heaps better than I expected 8D. Parabolas continue to screw me over, but Eh. Algebra remains my favourite. Even managed a few excellence questions. I was just about to solve the algebra excellence when the supervisor said "pens down". That made me mad!

Eck: Physics tomorrow. I'm perfectly comfotorble with heat and magnetism,  electrostatics aaand the other thing, oh yeah, light.  Waves though :/ I should go brush up on them a bit more. 

And English: Absolutely freaking out about English, the unfamiliar texts should be good, the persuasive writing I can handle fine. Its just the two essays >_< I've written a few practice essays and I think thats all I can really do... 

Chinese: OMG *ded* but I have been working on this. Reading I see no problem with, cause I feel I'm actually very good with characters, and writing only scares me a little, but listening is going to kill me dead. 

German: well I've got two days for this :D. Plus, I've memorised all my vocab. Thats not too shabby, as its roughly 800 words. I just need to do some practice writing and I feel I'll be fine ^_^

I feel like such a Hermione >_<'' I caught myself fretting because I'd only done 3 and a bit hours of Physics this afternoon. But that can easily be remidied as I'll go and do another hour and a bit now. Do that silly wave section and get it in my head. 

Eck </rant>

Mocks  start on Monday. 

Bring it on. 

8D

Luff you all~!

Hmmm... yesterday was very nice. I didn't do much, just played with Cassiel, (my acrylic),  Jareth (my stageball), drew Sheik, wrote, and read slash. Surgeon Generals Warning makes me squeal. It's pobably one of the best fanfics I've ever read. 

Today after Karate I just went walking around by myself, all over town. Went damn near everywhere, for two and a half hours. I'm not sure why, but I... liked it. It was nice. I thought about a lot of stuff, and I've come to a lot of conclusions. I was kind of hoping to run into somebody at Boarders, but I didn't. 

You know Fragrance by Gackt? Thats the closest I can get to describing how I feel right now.

These last two days have been very... odd indeed.

~Rei

... This is the type of crack we talk about on MSN. Two shink fangirls, late at night commiserate on how hard Sheik's mouth covering is to draw. Crackiness ensues.

( What are we smoking? )

In other news OMG my birthday in *checks* 1/2 an hour. And I looooove the Sheik drawing I'm working on. But I hate the face covering. Hence the conversation.

 

Fuck. 

Got my report back, now. Dads going to have "The talk." Shit, it wasn't even that bad >.>

And they're thinking of not letting me do karate any more. 

I hate everything. 

EDIT: well, I'm alowed to continue on with Karate. But I have to cut down on everything else in order to study *gloom*. At least its better than stopping it completely.

I have wonderful friends <33333

Thank you for just being there.

Luff you all.

It doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did last night but oooooow. *curses hospital*

Well, since I've got a day off today, I might as well write a to-do list.

~Practice contact juggling. (I can alllllmost do a butterfly~<3)
~Get all that homework done (it burns us precious):
~Revise German words and learn 50 new ones.
~Learn at least 20 new Chinese words
~Do all those Maths Pages
~Try write a monolouge related ramble
~Do some physics questions
~Tidy up at least 2 books
~Brush up on Kanji
~Get stuff ready for the picnic
~Work on Mizerable
~Write a drabble.
~Sraw something

Whats the betting I only get 1/2 of that done? -_-;;

Contact juggling is amazing. Am taking it up. Hard to do, but soooo pretty and OMFG amazing. <33333333

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFafcjA_p7E

GOT MY GREEN TIP~! YAAAY!

5 days till Ruuchan comes up. <3333

7 days 'till Cosplay Picnic <33333

1 day till ear operation *gulp*
Things to post

~Armageddon report
~Other stuff.

GREEN TIP! OMG I almost can't believe it. Green in September?

I blame Labyrinth for my sudden obsession of David Bowie and Contact Juggling.

Re-reading LOTR *luff luff* Aragorn and Legolas FTW!

Feeling almost enirely gone ^0^

~Rei.

Thought it was time for a layout change. Feeling better than I was. But its always just around the corner, if I think too hard about something sad, or even just... it's there. Thank you for your support <3. I try and keep my thoughts happy :3


( Cause you know, you'll never really read these. )

Is it so bad to feel awful for no reason at all?
To have moments when you feel like crying hard, but you don't know why?
To have a cold lump in your chest that wont go away, no matter what you do? That friends only dull for a little while before it comes back, stronger than ever?

Am I selfish for feeling this way? Because I have such a great life, and there are people so much worse off than me?

Should I just bury it down, and pretend that it's not there?

Is it okay to feel this way?

~Rei

Ganked from Caddles.

Here's how it works:

1. Reply to this post if you want me to tell you how cool you are!
2. Watch my journal over the next few days for a post just about you and why you rock my socks.
3. Post these instructions in your journal and give your friends a much needed dose of love and adoration!

I just had a coversation about J-Rock, Cosplaying and anime. 

Not so out of the ordinary

Except it was in German. 

Never mind the fact that my German was less then perfect. 

Never mind that we sometimes had to detour around things. 

Never mind that I had to constantly refer to my dictionary. 

Never mind we sometimes said things in English. 

I HAD A CONVERSATION IN GERMAN ABOUT SOMETHING I LOVE. 

And I've made an awesome new friend <3333

I'm finally getting somewhere.

:3

I was walking in the rain today and I realised how lucky I was, and how happy I am. 

I am learning three languages, all of which I adore and love. 
I am secure in the knowledge that I will be able to speak them all fluently one day. 
I am learning Kanji, which are insanely beautiful and perfect.
I have a facination with words that lets me play with them and 
I have my writing to create and put my characters on paper.
I have wonderful friends, whom I love with all my heart.
I have wonderful memories of Shadow, JK and Amanda.
I have cosplay, and many new friends because of it. 
Theres a cosplay picnic soon, where I will meet new friends.
I have Jihaku, to encourage me when I feel like giving up. 
I have Jrock, Gackt especially to listen to and feel that I can do anything. 
I have Kingdom Hearts, a game which I completely and utterly adore. 
I have a lovely dog that loves me and clamours for attention. 
I have flute, so I can play Mizerable and those Irish tunes I love. 
I have a strong desire to become a better artist, just for myself. 
I have yaoi and slash to fangirl over.
I have anime, to make myself feel things and confront issues.
I have the rain to walk in and just think. 
I have ten fingers, ten toes, two arms and two legs. 
Shadow is coming up for a visit soon. 
I have the Last Herald-Mage trilogy to read and make me cry. 
I have people around me who love me just as I am. 

~<3 Rei